Dude I don’t know why the content is not showing up in the posts when I’m sharing things like this. I love this theme. But I think I need to change it because the alignment and everything is getting all fucky. I need to have at least an okay looking site.
Thank you everyone who supports me. To be open out of respect for people who read my meh of a blog, I’m struggling so much. I’m on my own. As someone with a disability, I still will always operate in a “DIY” Ethic, I’m at the point where all I need to do is do it. And I’m backing away. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been discriminated against, and outlawed and therefore kind of gone into hiding from how humiliating its been. My success has been from the hard work of no one else. Just me. I want to belong. WeWork, PNCA, IPRC, Oregon Arts Comission. RACC, no musicians will play or write or record with me anynore. I’m creating and recording music on my phone …… Which is not okay ib my book. But then I can’t do the songs live because I used to have 3 or 4 friends help me live. I know I’m hard to work with. ….. I’m not giving up. No matter what. I state that because I’m seriously on my own. Everything from Cascadia Telling me that my file has slipped through the cracks and they cannot help me after a month of meetings there to my guidance counselor at PNCA not remembering to put me in the system. I knew it was their screw up because they still got me into classes yet 2 weeks into the term. I sold out out of a sense of hopelessness and in hope to meet other like minded people to just become the freak.
I’m recording a tape of spoken word on a little tape recorder. I’m grabbing some notebooks from one of the crates and I’m just going to read. Poetry is coming back.
I have finally stopped feeling guilty for being an outsider/self taught artist. I’m embracing it. People say “I don’t get it” or something. Yeah well. Look at the world around you. What about life and how our society is. Do you understand any of that shit? It’s a good time for abstract artists to be submitting work.
I don’t care about what I have to do to register or any of that ….. Im my own tape label now. Wobblies Tapes and Whistle Punk Publishing. Over 3000 readers. And being a Union Mail Artist will keep shit good.
Don’t you dare stop Brian. Everyone wants you to. Fuck you. Pick yourself up.
I wrote this for me. Not you.