Reasons reminders rambling and reinventing the wheel is not fun


Final word results from the field report on the edge of the glaciers

The hate of wasting your night insulting my own gods in the gutter

Is misery an awaken risk for me? Do I mean anything to me?

Is my life anything to since I disappeared in the middle of a blank note choked by my own selfish curiosity?

And you have total control

The pressure you feel is your body that will help you feel better if your heart is still healthy enough to be broken

crayon books tightly clenched in. side the mind of this. failing infant’s. hand. Be weary of new episodes getting penciled in. to hold out for possibly nothing Beware. the refill on Wednesdays. the government pays I’m mingling. Beware of sharks swimming. parks protracting pity. beaming. Beware the nurturing nightly. my plead bleeds Peeling natures skin for a cover used for our bin of grief beware

I breathe what verse doesnt I guess for an entities breeze bemoaning these losses. It meaning? demoting ability as to what I seem to conceive I am so tired of this. this framing im obtaining in the filters signed social contract you see it I see you see it. in fear bowing to the side. you move out. of its terrible way to run to run to hide picking up the pieces with a pointed finger into the chest I have reason to believe nothing see

Who was it? Find whoever said sense must be meant in all those who be penen’ and tell them to shut the fuck up

 

Where was it? Who? That me who was are you seriously that’s very funny really where? I get gas when I exist!

 

This is meant to be made up of what only five percent I have the chance to Express? Why bother and why not just fit a rhythm with the moving theme for which then I have no idea but the right one.     is used only as a means to Express     or to harm even though they say yes those they’s ‘sticks and stones’ and yeah, oh? Well I’ve a bum legged soul and you couldnt sue what suits your vile trolling headset feather jacket  Dare a reader read. Some dense nugget of charm in your arm? I tore mine off beat my demons off reattached and hatched this egg of a third legged fin swimming stranded by Gilligan.

You’re white privileged and from some city of Angel’s I’ve heard of and even been too yet I was mostly running to the bathroom after every line of coke some naked worshipping woman told me I had worked so hard for. They move here and kick an African american family out kill the garden and stick a black lives matter sign in their yard and this people…. welcome! To the Portland I mean portla… sorr….

Stemming into the another sentences synonym you ruin you. Ruin you. You ruin you ruin. Ruin you. You ruin ruin ruining ruin you. You

And You Ruin the ruined, doctor. Why am I addicted to three more substances than I was before I went to rehab. I didnt say that because ofcourse I want it and I need more!

I let your advice become my vice 3 fold. I cant leave the country. I cant even be away from home longer than 7 days and that’s if (turns off microphone)

This is from a survivor for which survival mode is my mode.

“Give us 12 grand, we will put you in (crcrossed out) in the middle or the (cross out) desert and when you get that shit off the street out of your system we will give you whatever you want however much you want  you will never run out and we will even pay for it. Just as long as you get it from is what they said. Before a judgement I want a cure. I have crates full of notebooks starting after an hour in (crossed out) documenting in the only way I know how to write, which is like, I guess, q very sprung rhythm infused prose. So not a report or journal. Photopoetic Journalism. For 8 1/2 years I’ve been conducting this research. Never done before. I have things what I think could answer a lot about a lot surrounding the heroin epidemic. Why, as only a volunteer, a “disable” (im very fucking able  thank you) am I bringing about more sustainable sobriety and not just but the motive to live more, rather than just not get in trouble or let others down, just as much, “if not more so” -epoch times, am I keeping people sober better than doctors who are treating me? Why do the people I tell this to I’m messing with fire as far as my crates of notebooks, the same amount of time it takes to get a PhD in the field of what i suffer from taking notes in heroin withdrawal because I have always tried to use my creative talents to give back. Yet, I’m mentally I’ll, a white Male, and regardless of my clean time, heh, just a junkie. I’m the lowest common denominator. Well. I read this exact sentence last week on all this shit: “it’s time to accept the lowest common denominator and comply”

 


Subdued and repressed. A son of the vortex in faceless progress, coaxing, tugging, grinding. So elevated so God.
Refit this vessel of confusion to bring the eloquence of the mute.
Incorporate this forfeit cause, assimilate and fake it mine.
I bow my head and taste the lies that I’m fed, all to claim my reward.
Master and servant. One for all and all for none. Ignorant to the distant hymns of chaos,
the progressive stand before me. Their eyes fixed in the distance, default to conform to the new.

They animate me. In confidence I thrive. My reign: supremacy. I speak no word unheard.
Re-motivate me. I’m all there is to be. An omnipotent being so complete in my diversity.
Ripples race across my eyes. Breaking out in acid sweat. Wills shrivel and crack.
Disintegration of my inner self. I find the substance lost. A shed shell of a being of disgust.
Done is the cleansing. Complete is the surgery of the soul.

Step inside and taste the shackling thoughts that devour all confidence. Realizing I’m lost.
Being no more than a mutt with a fake pedigree. Stillborn soul shaped and molded.
I can live an eternity in a minute’s time. A borrowed talent filled with copied goals.
The carcass of hope lies dead beneath the fabric of dreams. Facing the truth within the mirror of souls –
ha ha this is what I’ve become. Always been in this emancipated state. Submerged, battered and numb.
Just a mindscape fit for illusion to make fear into reign and fulfillment of pain. Kneeling in permanent solitude.
The minions of the inside claim me
Re-animate, me cause I was once alive. Defeat smears out my focus. Consciousness subsides
Unmotivated. Beheld by scorching eyes. Infinity stares back at me. The surging darkness coils to strike.

-Meshuggah